OCD: One Line at a Time
February 26, 2011OCD is insidious It tells you “don’t step on the ice or snow in the parking lot because that’s how you broke your back” & that makes sense so you listen. And every time you accidentally step on snow or ice you feel that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach like your world is collapsing.
But it broadens.
It tells you “don’t step on the paint or oil spots in the parking lot for those are slick when wet & you could slip & fall” & that makes sense so you listen. And every time you accidentally step on paint or oil you feel that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach like your world is collapsing.
But it broadens.
It tells you “don’t step on the lines & cracks in the parking lot & sidewalk for if you do you will get hurt” & this makes no sense but you have to listen. For if you don’t every time you accidentally step on a line or a crack in the parking lot you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach like your whole world is collapsing.
But it broadens.
It says “don’t step on the lines or cracks inside as well or you will get hurt” & it still makes no sense but you listen. For if you don’t every time you accidentally step on a crack or a line inside you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach like your whole world is collapsing.
But is broadens.
You find yourself walking out to your car lost in thought when you are suddenly hit with that collapsing feeling. You almost stepped on another line, a new line, the edge of a shadow.
But it broadens.
Your driving in your car and, without thought, you swerve to miss that line, that edge, that boundary that you’re not allowed to cross. The pit of your stomach is filled with that same dread that sense of your world collapsing.
And you realize…
OCD really is collapsing your world. One. Line. At. A. Time.
